1st Jan 2009
Last year, I made a post recapping about the 18th year of my life. In the last paragraph…I said,
…It’s time to turn the page and experience my 19th story. What would the story be? Would it be easier or harder to experience than the previous page?… I believe my 19th story will be more intense and meaningful experience. I know there are still a lot of things to be improved…
Indeed! It was an intense and meaningful experience for me, for I have so many struggles in life that I know it’s God way of drawing me nearer to Him. This year would probably my most painful experience…for I have learned to love and depend to a person that I need to let go. Each day I woke up, I felt like no significance to live when that person left. My morning starts always with bulged eye bugs and my night ends with teary eyes. I kept on pretending I was fine, trying so hard to make a big smile.
But I am so thankful that there are still people whom I think they hate me…but are the ones who really helped me to move on. Even it is a disappointment to some whom I thought they could help but wasn’t there - I am still thankful. For they made me realize that not everyone are real people for me.
Some people will just come and go definitely in our lives. People who give us reason to smile can also give us the reason to cry. That was my most significant learning in my experience this year.
Today, as the first day of the year - I have made a conclusion to my 19th page. I felt so relieved when I hold my breath for the last seconds and shouted out loud “goodbye hurts.” The old year, for better or worse, is gone for good. Then I followed with fresh promises or new year’s resolution.
It’s my time and chance to start again. Best wishes for a happy and prosperous New Year!
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13th Dec 2008
Have you ever tried of losing hope to your wishes because you think it’s impossible to happen yet it suddenly came to your life? Most often, I tend to give up easily on my expectations, especially whenever I see negative things or hindrances. But as God reveals more of himself to me, I learned to be patient and let just God do his own ways.
I have my desires that only God and I knows. But because of my limited mind, thinking that it’s impossible to have, I simply ignored it. I had this simple wish before that I have always asked from God. Deep inside my heart says, “Lord, just on that day…please show me a sign…if that happens, you’re taking away my confusions.” When I kept on asking God when he would give that sign, nothing happens - nothing came. Sometimes, I became so aggressive. But God seems want me to learn something. Yes, there is something God wants me to know. And when I learned to just be quiet and wait, my long time prayer has been answered. It’s even more than to what I’ve expected. I thank God for teaching me a lesson and for the blessings he gave.
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10th Dec 2008
It’s just one of those days that I’m so bummed out of my wits that I have nothing significant to say. My life is a lot different than it had been 2 years ago, on my 18th Birthday. I could still remember celebrating that day. 
It was one of the best days of my life. 
Oh well… it’s just the age spurt talking right now. LOL. I turned 20 today *shudders at the thought* with a mind of a 13-year-old. Hahahaha…
Come to think of it…I didn’t get a chance to keep any pictures on my 18th birthday.
I know I’m being vain for announcing my birthday to the whole world, but that’s just me. I’m just trying to be happy, you know.
So I was thinking. I realized that people don’t make much of a big deal of birthdays, but how come they talk about age so much? Am I making sense? Probably not… but I’m not screening my thoughts so I’ll just go on ranting.
The people around me are already very special blessings in my life. The fact that they go out of their ways to do things for me touches me more and more each time. 
I didn’t ask for too many things for my birthday this year. But I’m very thankful that God gave me so much blessings so far. It was a Happy Birthday, indeed!:)
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8th Dec 2008
Christmas is usually celebrated in the whole wide world through giving gifts, reuniting broken or separated families, singing carols, displaying colorful lights and etc. for it is believed to every Christian that this is the month of Jesus Christ’s birth.
In the past three years, I was not able to spend my Christmas time with my whole family. Each year was a different experience for me. First, I was spending the Eve just in our apartment with my older brother. We made mango float and watched movies. We had a party with the board mates and made an exchange gifts. It was my first time to receive a teddy bear which is my hatest stuff in my whole life. Then on the second, I spent it with the family of my sister-in-law. There were so many foods prepared, and felt like “joiners” to their family. But at least, they made me feel like at home. I received unexpected gifts from them like undergarments, scrap booking tools and gift cards. Thirdly on Christmas Holiday, I was all alone in our apartment. Though our helper was there, she just slept the whole night. I was singing with a videoke letting our neighboorhood hear my loudest voice. I don’t care so much about them…I am just trying to enjoy myself, anyway it’s Christmas! Unexpectedly, they offered me a macaroni desert. (Hahaha)
Now that I am back in my hometown, this time…I’ll be with my whole family. And I am so excited to it! Right now, I am preparing gifts for them and trying to get some special items from Blackhawk Network.
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24th Oct 2008
No stable work, unending increase prices of goods, in debts, tuition fees for kids, bills there - bills here. Instead of focusing on the world’s problems, give your attention and energy to abundancy. It’s time to tip the balance of your thoughts to wealth.
The only reason any person doesn’t have enough money is because they are blocking money from coming to them with their thoughts. They think more of worrying, being misfortuned, the coming of red bills every month, and hundred knocks and door bells of money collector, and etc. In that way, they become weaker to find solutions to their problems.
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18th Oct 2008
Friends are part of your life. They influence you in many ways. They become part of your system by diverging their various traits and stirring them up and equate into you. Yes, we have different set of friends and we do have our own penchant in choosing them.
Friends can be your valuable assents in college. Having someone who listens to your wailing about a failed grade, messed up return demos, and heartache dramas is a freat relief. Someone who accompanies you in researches, eating lunch, and inwinding time during wee hours is a cache of luck. You can definitely expand your number of friends in accordance to your own liking.
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4th Oct 2008
My friends keep on asking me what’s really my favorite color. Well I can’t really say that I have favorite colors because I do like all except yellow. Sometimes it depends on my mood or feeling. But most of the time I am more likely a purple and black lover. And I think that’ s too obvious with my blog’s theme.
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